2nd Annual Lowville Cream Cheese Festival

This morning Briana, Christie, and I ventured to Lowville for the 2nd Annual Cream Cheese Festival . The headlining act was the unveiling of The World’s Largest Cheesecake brought to us by Kraft Foods.

We were met with quite the crowd much to our surprise. After the unveiling of The World’s Largest Cheesecake (which also had the world’s largest sneeze guard), the cheesecake was wheeled down the length of the festival grounds for everybody to ogle. Briana followed the moving cheesecake while I went to the ATM machine and met up with Christie.

Here we are enjoying a free slice of The World’s Largest Cheesecake. It tasted like chemicals and spinach laced with e-coli. Just kidding…. however, it certainly was not The World’s Best Cheesecake. Maybe bigger isn’t always better….

After enjoying beef-on-wick sandwiches, we turned our attention to the bagel and cream cheese eating contest. There was a puke bucket (really, just a giant trash can) located at the end of the stage but unfortunately, nobody had to use it (boo….). The eaters were not allowed to use their hands and had to assign a person to the position of ‘feeder.’ The three of us concluded that the rules were too complicated. If Takeru Kobayashiwere there, he would have destroyed the contestants.

We then met the Miss Lewis County Dairy Ambassador. She was very nice and a youngin’ so I am just going to move on…

I enjoyed this sign…

We had the opportunity to pose with a cow. It was ‘utterly’ ridiculous!

Politics are cool, especially at the 2nd Annual Lowville Cream Cheese Festival. Hillary was not at the festival (maybe she doesn’t like cream cheese) however, I did happen to see Dr. Bob Johnson who is running for the New York 23rd Congressional seat.

We then came across two ‘yappy’ dogs dressed as a bride and groom. After commenting on the cuteness of the costume ensemble, the owner of the happy couple informed us that they were indeed brother and sister. She then said “however, this is Lewis County so it doesn’t matter anyway”…. nothing like a little backwoods incest humor to brighten one’s day.

All in all, I was quite impressed with The 2nd Annual Lowville Cream Cheese Festival. The turn-out was greater than I expected and it was a wonderful way to spend a Saturday morning/early afternoon. In fact, I enjoyed myself so much that I even bought the T-shirt.

Best $13 I ever spent.

* Originally posted at The Sour Patch Kid Experiment (deleted 2007) on September 16, 2006.

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