Frustration

I still have no idea when Clay will be home for his R&R. Communication is still awful so we have not had the opportunity in recent weeks to discuss his arrival in the US. I received an email from his this morning that was cryptic in nature and failed to provide a clear and concise time frame of when he will be home. He stated that our plane tickets for Wilmington should not be affected so hopefully he will be here in time. I am grateful that he has the opportunity to come home for two weeks during his year long tour in Afghanistan but I am struggling with the uncertainty…really struggling.

Over the past 8 months I have developed a routine and settled into life in northern New York. My job keeps me busy and gives me a sense of purpose (the extra money doesn’t hurt) and my friends have given me the ability to have fun and remain in good spirits during the deployment. Not knowing when he will be home as caused me to tentatively plan around my work and schedule some time off and try to live as normal of a life as possible but I am having a very difficult time. I have worked hard and have developed my niche at work and I do not want to let my agency down but I also want to spend time with my husband.

The increase in American deaths in Iraq and Afghanistan has not helped to calm my nerves. I literally feel like a time bomb; the littlest thing can set me off into a fit of rage or a puddle of tears. When will this end?

On a happier note, the leaves are beginning to change and the air is becoming more crisp.

* Originally posted at The Sour Patch Kid Experiment (deleted 2007) on October 2, 2006. Recovered courtesy of waybackmachine.com in 2012.

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