Far From Home

There was never any question as to whether I would go away to college or not. In my mind, I would graduate high school and attend school out of state. I couldn’t picture it any other way and refused to do so. My parents were supportive, if not a little bummed that I wanted to spread my wings far from the nest. But it was something I had to do. So when the time came for me to choose a school I ended up at Clemson University in South Carolina, which was about a 12 hour drive from our southeastern Pennsylvania home. Having spent 10 years in Arizona as a child, I flirted with the idea of attending school on the west coast, but the south drew me in.

Becoming engaged to Clay at the end of my junior year meant that my home after graduation was at the mercy of the Army. Clay went on to Ft. Huachuca, Arizona while I finished my senior year. We were married during winter break and after my graduation, I joined him up at Ft. Drum, New York. Around that time my parents relocated to Georgia so subsequent trips to visit them meant that I wasn’t going home. My sister still lives in southeastern Pennsylvania with her family but I’m sad to admit that each time we visit, the area feels less and less like home. I still miss it though, and would jump at the opportunity to live in the land of Wawa again, if only for the coffee and subs.

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The idea of settling down and living in one area for years upon years is foreign to me. In my entire life, I’ve never technically lived full-time in one house for longer than 5 years. I’m on my 4th state driver’s license (my current Oklahoma license is by far my best picture – part of me wants to frame it when it expires). And I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. I think. And this house and Lawton, Oklahoma does feel like our current home. It took awhile but we’re finally here. Home. For now. And it should go without saying that wherever I happen to be living at the time with Clay and Weston is home. But you know what is funny? Wherever that place happens to be, it usually feels far from home. Maybe it is because we know that where we happen to be living at the time is temporary and we will eventually move on. Or maybe we just haven’t found the place we’re meant to stay at for years and years. When that happens, will we no longer feel far from home?

Whatever the reason, it is an incredibly odd to feel far from home but not know where that home happens to be. I’m sure we will stay in one place for longer than 4 years – eventually. And wherever that happens to be, I sure hope there is a Wawa nearby.

Blog note – It has taken weeks, but the layout for the blog is finally finished (the previous ones were were just placeholders). I’m going to be working on some other housekeeping items, but the changes should be minimal. 
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9 thoughts on “Far From Home

  1. Totally know the feeling! I’ve felt homesick, but not sure for where. We’re toying with going to Alaska next, again, and Ryan’s convinced he won’t want to leave. 🙂 BTW, the house looks great!

  2. i totally get it. last summer, when pregnant and hormonal, I said to Jason “I just want to go home”. he asked me where that would be – I didn’t know. I think it’s a place where you have warm memories (like wawa – ha). moving around is fun and a great experience, but after our recent trip to the states, I am looking forward to setting down roots someday (in 8 years).

  3. My North Jersey home is starting to feel more like my home…there is a WAWA that just opened up last year a mere 25mins away!!! But with my parents having just moved away from Southeast PA to Iowa 😦 I feel uprooted and like I will never go “home” again.

  4. I can relate. Toward the end of our time in Chatt, STL stopped feeling like “home”. I felt caught between two lands. My family/friends/history were in one place, while my friends/house/present was in another. But I think there might be something to your thought about finding the right place. Even though we don’t have family/many friends/ or even a property we own here in Chicago, it feels more like “home” than I’ve felt in years. I’m not naive enough to believe I couldn’t feel this way elsewhere, but your post perfectly articulated something that I’ve been feeling since we’ve been here. So, thank you for that.

  5. We’re back in our home state (complete with a nearby Wawa!) and oddly enough it only feels like “home for now.” We just got here and I’m already thinking about our next stop…I think it will be that way until we finally decide that we’re ready to stay in one place.

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