Thursday Thoughts – Toilets, Memories, and Staying Home

Thank you for all of the feedback on my 35 in 250 list. I admit that items were included based on our summer vacation schedule. I doubt I would make a trip just to see the World’s Largest Praying Hands in Tulsa, OK or Lincoln’s home in Springfield, IL but since they’re along the way – why not? And there is so much we’re planning on seeing/doing/eating during our time in Washington DC that I found it difficult to pick which ones to include on the list. If any of you decide to publicize your own list (or if you already have one), please be sure to share!

I’d like to report that my days have been so exciting that I am able to smash everything together into blog posts with omg-amazing photos cropped to perfection and amusing commentary. But I can’t. Instead I am going to talk about how the plumber came yesterday morning and complemented me on my flush filter and flapper installation (it’s sad how much my pride swelled). He then informed me that our braided water supply line was done-zo because it snapped close due to backed-up pressure. A simple fix. I appreciated his willingness to walk me through the steps so I can diagnose the problem in the future and do the fix myself, so I agreed to pay the slightly inflated price for him to install a new water supply line himself.

When going through our digital photo library yesterday afternoon (working on a 35 in 250 goal), I came across this picture from May 24, 2010. If I recall correctly, it was taken on Caswell Beach in North Carolina during one of my visits to my in-laws during Clay’s deployment. Weston was 7 months old and still not sleeping through the night. I think it shows in my face. Such is life.What pains me most about this picture is the fact that I have a hard time remembering Weston at that age. I’m not sure if it is because I was sleep-deprived, or because I wished time away until Clay’s return, or something else. But I don’t remember much – and that tears a little hole in my heart that I’m not sure can ever be repaired.

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So back to the present – this the past week, the majority of my free time has been spent preparing for the upcoming vacation bible school at our church. The little guy and I will miss a couple of sessions due to our trip to Washington DC but I’m happy that I am able to help as much as I have been and thankful that I have so much time available for volunteering. I only teach a couple of week-long community college classes per quarter so I am primarily a stay-at-home mom. My current arrangement works best for me and our family because I’m able to establish a professional Karen outside the home while spending the majority of my time with Weston while he is young. And the extra fun money my (measly) income provides doesn’t hurt. I am confident in my choices and try my hardest to let the snide comments roll of my back (e.g. lazy, wasting degrees, old-fashioned gender roles, etc…). But because I’m human, sometimes I doubt myself and my ability to be the type of mother our son deserves. I know I am not alone in this feeling. But no matter if we work outside the home, in the home, or stay-home; at the end of the day, I think we’re just trying to do our best – any way we know how.

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6 thoughts on “Thursday Thoughts – Toilets, Memories, and Staying Home

  1. Mandy S May 24, 2012 / 8:48 am

    Feminism is having the ability to choose.

  2. Mrs. Wookie May 24, 2012 / 8:57 am

    I have to say it’s always myself that I compete with when I hear the nagging 1950’s voice on my shoulder…so I do everything. I work, I volunteer, I make cocktails for the Wookie (yeah, hello stereotype), I semi-keep house. Then at the end of some days i go to bed zonked and wished I didn’t work at all (until I see the bank account not growing).

    It’s just as you said – we do our best. If I have to procreate, I don’t know what I’ll do. That’s something “future Mrs. Wookie” will have to figure out. But as long as there’s cocktails, life can’t be too bad, right?

    • Karen May 24, 2012 / 9:10 am

      I didn’t know exactly what I was going to do either. I always thought I would stay home but when the time came for me to work out my post-maternity leave schedule at work, I couldn’t bring myself to quit completely…I loved my job too much. So I worked part-time, mainly from home and didn’t leave until it was time to write my thesis. If I could find an arrangement like that here in Oklahoma, I think I would do that…I like the flexibility of working part-time from home and being able to do the traditional stay-at-home mom activities.

  3. Mrs. B May 24, 2012 / 9:20 am

    I wish I had the option to work from home. He’s only a week old and sending him to daycare is already killing me. NEVER thought I would feel that way. I love my job, but it’s amazing how things change the instant you have a baby. I’m sure we will adjust, but part of me hopes that, with the next one, working at least part time will be an option.

  4. Jen May 26, 2012 / 2:39 pm

    I miss working. Mostly for the money, but also the mental stimulation. A lot of my self esteem is tired to my “work self”. I am not sure of that is bad or good. However, I could not bear to put N in daycare at this age (6mos). I just try to enjoy this time – because it won’t be forever.

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