10 Rules for the Military Wife

I truly enjoy being part of the military community about 87% of the time. I’ve made some amazing friends, lived in a variety of locations, and experienced the camaraderie that can occur within this lifestyle. And over the past 10 years, I’ve learned a couple nuggets of wisdom. So I thought I’d share some of them with all of you…

wife

10 Rules for the Military Wife

  1. Always introduce yourself by your husband’s name and rank. For good measure, go ahead and throw in how many times he has been deployed.
  2. Constantly remind your civilian friends that they have no idea how difficult it is to be a military wife.
  3. Ask every establishment if they have a military discount. If they don’t, be sure to remind the customer service representative that your husband fights for his/her freedom. Then go home and write an email to the corporate office expressing your dismay with their lack of recognition of the military. If the email is filled with text speak, you’re already ahead of the game!
  4. Calling cards are a must. Make sure you have them professionally made – the slightย perforated edges on home printed cards are a dead giveaway of no class and will likely result in a shunning.
  5. When given free items or experiences at a military-sponsored event, show your appreciation by complaining. This goes over really well with the organizations that show their support by volunteering time and money.
  6. If all of your Facebook status updates don’t reference the hardships associated with the military lifestyle, you’re doing it wrong.
  7. If the line is too long at the commissary, inform the nearest worker of your husband’s rank and ask if another lane can be opened to accommodate your busy schedule. If this doesn’t work, cut in front of the retired shoppers – you deserve to use the commissary more than they do.
  8. Keep a close eye on other wives. If you see any infractions being made, take note and share with other wives. If you feel it necessary to get the command involved, go ahead and contact the leadership. They often appreciate updates detailing such occurrences.
  9. Get professional photographs taken of you wearing your husband’s uniform. The more suggestive, the better.
  10. Constantly complain about the free health care. Civilians love to hear about Tricare despite paying $400+ a month for a health care plan with co-pays. Trust me.

Somehow this post just didn’t feel complete without a vintage military STD-awareness poster.

What are some of your rules for the military wife?

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14 thoughts on “10 Rules for the Military Wife

  1. I love this! My rule would be make sure you have “air force/army/marine/navy wife – the toughest job in the military” bumper sticker on your car. And a sweatshirt that idenfifies yourself as a military wife. Everyone needs to know, because it’s sooooo hard!

    1. Along with Jen’s suggestion…..throw in a “Sexually deprived for your freedom” t-shirt or bumper sticker–your choice or you can always do both!!

  2. Make sure you have a purse made out of your husbands old ACU’s showing his rank, last name and current unit.

    My favorite, said by an acquaintance about their best friends, how unfair it is that because so and so lost both his legs in Iraq and was compensated financially (TSGLI) along with other things, how unfair it is that her family can’t pay their bills and yet they’re still active duty.

  3. 11.) Wear your husband’s PT gear to the Commissary, Nex, running errands around town. Because nothing shows off your fashion sense like a pair of dumpy butt sweat pants with NAVY blazed down the side.

    (This is my favorite one…because it’s like they never think to WEAR THEIR OWN CLOTHES).

  4. Adrienne Lagant (SSGT Lagant's wife...two deployments to AFG) I accompanied him to niether of them. says:

    Only wear pjama pants…preferably with a U.S.A theme…or if you are feeling classy P.T.s are always acceptable! Drop off your kids at Daycare and tell the staff you need a break from them because you couldn’t sleep in till 9 and that you need another 4 hour nap to make it through the rest of your day…of not working or taking care of your kids. Yellow ribbon tattoos(on your chest) also seem to be mandatory among upper enlisted spouses(wives) here at Fort Leavenworth.

  5. Ha, this is great! I’m new to the club, but I so have seen some of these. I can’t wait to employ these techniques ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. Yes! Someone finally said what I was too chicken to say! I’m fairly new to the military wives’s club too, but I’m also a veteran like my husband… and I would much rather refer to myself as a vet than an Army wife for all the reasons you just listed. That, and the alarming amount of spouses who can’t seem to stay faithful during deployments. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a part of the military community and being married to a wonderful soldier…but if the servicemembers have higher standards to meet as far a appearance and how they conduct themselves, I think spouses of servicemembers should be held to similar standards.

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