My Not-So-Favorite Christmas Songs

Since it is the season of Christmas, I figure the title of this post is better than Music That Makes My Ears Bleed. Because let’s be honest, we all have Christmas songs that grate our last nerve and make us want to stab a fork into our right eye. And chances are, these songs are not the same for all of us. Which is okay, because diversity is what makes the world go around (screw gravitational pull and all that jazz). So no offense is intended with the compilation of the following songs that comprise my not-so-favorite Christmas songs. Oh, and Christmas Shoes is not on the list because that is an automatic given.

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This Christmas by Donny Hathaway. My hatred for this song probably borders on irrational but it’s seemingly popularity completely baffles my mind. The bland verses, the increasingly annoying chorus, and just all-around awful arrangement earns this song a solid place on the list. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever listened to the song in it’s entirety. And I am okay with that.

Grown Up Christmas List by Amy Grant. I have nothing against Amy Grant. In fact, I know her entire Heart in Motion album my heart (favorite track – Good for Me). But Grown Up Christmas List has to be one of the cheesiest Christmas songs that doesn’t have to do with Christmas shoes for a child’s dying mother. Even though other artists have recorded this sad excuse for holiday music, I picked Amy because her version was the first to gain popularity. Newsflash – when someone asks you what you want for Christmas and you respond ‘world peace’ and ‘everyone would have a friend’ and call it your grown up Christmas list, you don’t sound altruistic, you sound pretentious.

Mary Did You Know by Wynonna Judd and Kenny Rogers. I can’t. I just can’t. My sister-in-law, Meredith, has been known to rock out an interpretive dance to this irritating song during the holidays – all in fun, of course.

Santa Baby by Madonna. Because nothing says Merry Christmas and the birth of Jesus like “Hey Santa, I’ll put out if you will.” Ho, ho, ho. I can tolerate the Eartha Kitt version but only once or twice a season. And I always feel the need to shower afterwards.

Joy to the World by Mannheim Steamroller. “You know what will make a powerful and joyous hymn sound even better? A synthesizer.” <—- Said no one ever. Except TranSiberian Orchestra. They’re sort of awesome.

santa-claus-arrived

So there you have it – five of my not-so-favorite Christmas songs. A lot of people have 12 Days of Christmas, or Jingle Bell Dogs, or Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer on their lists but truth be told, I like those songs. Which totally illustrates that musical taste (especially mine) is subjective. So what about you? What Christmas/Holiday songs are on your Make My Ears Bleed list?

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11 thoughts on “My Not-So-Favorite Christmas Songs

  1. I totally agree with you on all of those but “This Christmas”. I actually like that one. I hate the song “Santa Baby” no matter who sings it. I’m not a big fan of the Chipmunk Christmas songs or “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause”

  2. Thank you for listing “Santa Baby”. It makes my skin crawl! And as much as I love Amy Grant Christmas music, I have to admit you are correct about “Grown up Christmas list”. Although the dying mother/Christmas shoes song is my all-time least favorite. So ridiculous! I have a love-hate with “Baby Its Cold Outside”. It is so darn catchy and creepy at the same time. Just sayin…

    1. Seriously! It was just the other day that I really processed the lyrics, and came to the realization that the girl is getting rufee’d in the song!
      Boy: “Baby, it’s bad out there”
      Girl: “Say, what’s in this drink?”

      Catchy and creepy.

  3. Although Dad, Mom, Martha, Meredith, and I frequently listened to the Alabama Christmas album, I would have to put “Thistlehair, the Christmas Bear” in contention for worst Christmas song. I have subjected you to it numerous times and always get a very negative response. I would also add “My Favorite Things” from your favorite musical. When did this song ever become a Christmas song? Glad to see “Mary Did You Know” and “Christmas Shoes” have been mentioned on the worst list.

    1. You are lucky I still married you after you exposing me to the Alabama Christmas album. That was incredibly close to being a deal breaker. Newsflash – Thistlehair the Christmas Bear is lame.

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