Since it is the season of Christmas, I figure the title of this post is better than Music That Makes My Ears Bleed. Because let’s be honest, we all have Christmas songs that grate our last nerve and make us want to stab a fork into our right eye. And chances are, these songs are not the same for all of us. Which is okay, because diversity is what makes the world go around (screw gravitational pull and all that jazz). So no offense is intended with the compilation of the following songs that comprise my not-so-favorite Christmas songs. Oh, and Christmas Shoes is not on the list because that is an automatic given.
This Christmas by Donny Hathaway. My hatred for this song probably borders on irrational but it’s seemingly popularity completely baffles my mind. The bland verses, the increasingly annoying chorus, and just all-around awful arrangement earns this song a solid place on the list. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever listened to the song in it’s entirety. And I am okay with that.
Grown Up Christmas List by Amy Grant. I have nothing against Amy Grant. In fact, I know her entire Heart in Motion album my heart (favorite track – Good for Me). But Grown Up Christmas List has to be one of the cheesiest Christmas songs that doesn’t have to do with Christmas shoes for a child’s dying mother. Even though other artists have recorded this sad excuse for holiday music, I picked Amy because her version was the first to gain popularity. Newsflash – when someone asks you what you want for Christmas and you respond ‘world peace’ and ‘everyone would have a friend’ and call it your grown up Christmas list, you don’t sound altruistic, you sound pretentious.
Mary Did You Know by Wynonna Judd and Kenny Rogers. I can’t. I just can’t. My sister-in-law, Meredith, has been known to rock out an interpretive dance to this irritating song during the holidays – all in fun, of course.
Santa Baby by Madonna. Because nothing says Merry Christmas and the birth of Jesus like “Hey Santa, I’ll put out if you will.” Ho, ho, ho. I can tolerate the Eartha Kitt version but only once or twice a season. And I always feel the need to shower afterwards.
Joy to the World by Mannheim Steamroller. “You know what will make a powerful and joyous hymn sound even better? A synthesizer.” <—- Said no one ever. Except TranSiberian Orchestra. They’re sort of awesome.
So there you have it – five of my not-so-favorite Christmas songs. A lot of people have 12 Days of Christmas, or Jingle Bell Dogs, or Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer on their lists but truth be told, I like those songs. Which totally illustrates that musical taste (especially mine) is subjective. So what about you? What Christmas/Holiday songs are on your Make My Ears Bleed list?