The Loudest Silent Prayer

Yesterday, news broke about a Navy deployment being postponed a day or two before the scheduled departure for budgetary reasons. Obviously, due to Clay being in the Army, we have never experienced a carrier deployment. But my friend, Jill (wife of a Naval Aviator), wrote about the postponement and the world of gray that exists within the military lifestyle. I think she does an excellent job capturing the feelings that arise with preparing for a deployment – one of them being, “I love you very much but I wish you would just leave already.” It is a sentiment that some non-military may not understand but I guarantee that other military families out there are nodding their heads in agreement.

Interestingly enough, I had a dream last night that I was at a pre-deployment briefing. I’m not sure why – there are no overseas deployments in our immediate future and {knock on wood} it should remain that way for a little bit of time. Now my experience with such briefings has been limited to light infantry combat brigade teams within the Army, so I’m sure others have varied greatly. But I must tell you that it is absolutely surreal to sit among your counterparts and be told how the death notification process works. And as the commander is discussing how two uniformed personnel will arrive at your residence, you can’t help but scan the room. Because statistics indicated (at least during height of the wars) that at least one spouse (and more than likely it would more than one spouse) would receive the knock at the door. And while the commander moves on to discuss SGLI, you can’t help but scan the room again and recite the loudest silent prayer that you will not be the one to receive a knock at the door.

As of right now, there is not a deployment on the horizon for us – just TDY’s. But I know there will be more deployments in our future – it is just a fact of military life. And when it is our turn again, I will be saying the loudest silent prayer once more. My heart is with the families of the USS Truman, CVW 3 ,and the USS Gettysburg – chances are they have already recited the loudest silent prayer and are in ‘hurry up and wait’ mode to receive news of when/if they need to recite it again.

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8 thoughts on “The Loudest Silent Prayer

    1. Ouch. They’re never easy. I remember sitting down with Clay before his last deployment and asking such questions as, “Do you want to be buried in Arlington or somewhere else? At what point do you want me to pull the plug? And how would you prefer your family to find out?” as if I was asking him what he wanted for dinner. It’s crazy to think that these are everyday questions that pop up before a deployment!

  1. My heart goes out to all military families that suffer through the period of pre-deployment. I a military wife for a while and I know the stress and and anxiety you experience.
    Hang tough and my prayers are with all.

  2. My husband has to travel a lot (not to war zones) but a lot so I get the whole “I love you very much but I wish you would just leave already” thing, and as a woman and a wife the whole time he is gone if he is 5 mins late with a phone call in my head he is dead. This is why I have nothing but the highest respect for you and all military spouses. All my husband does is travel around the world and implement software and develop programs and I am worried the whole time he is gone. It takes a special kind of strength to kiss your spouse goodbye with the knowledge they are heading off to fight for our country. So thank you, it seems like so little, but seriously, thank you.

    1. You’re so sweet Mandy. It is tough whenever a partner travels – even if it isn’t to a dangerous place. Any disruption in the routine of daily life will always cause at least a little hiccup. I always enjoy the reunions though! 🙂

  3. I hated/hate those briefings. They are their own form of torture. If you weren’t thinking the worst going into the meeting, you sure ate thinking the worst coming out!

    My friend’s husband is leaving today. When she texted me that she had said her goodbyes and was on the way back to their house, I felt so sick not to mention teared up. Not only am I worried for them but it takes me right back to everytime I said goodbye to Aaron before he headed out for Afghanistan. That feeling never really goes away. I think it is ingrained on my heart.

  4. Mr. Wookie broke that news to me while he’s in his last stint of pre-deployment training, and I was absolutely shocked. “You can’t just cancel deployments?!?!” Umm….hello…there are port calls to visit…I WANT THOSE DAMN JADE EARRINGS! (Selfish, much? 🙂 ).

    But I know the families (you know, those with offspring) that it has the potential of FUBARing more than anything. And I can’t imagine the head-spinning that’s occurring. While yes, there’s the “Hurry up and wait” mentality – I’m a-okay with anymore time I get with another human in my house. Mr. Wookie was supposed to deploy since last August and there’s just been one delay after the other – so will this sea tour actually see sea?? We really don’t know…. :/

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