The other night, I jokingly told Clay that he needs to deploy again so I can lose the baby weight. Now that Violet is over two months old and my body pretty much feel normal, I am ready to lose the 15 pounds that seem to be sticking around for the long haul. The two times in my life that I have lost a significant amount of weight (10+ pounds), I did so while Clay was deployed. Since Clay is sticking around for Violet’s first year, I have to figure out how to lose the weight while cooking beyond meals-for-one. I am not going to lie – it seems like a daunting task right now.
During my senior year of high school and all four years of college, I was a size 10 or 12 and weighed anywhere between 155 and 165 pounds depending on the year. I wasn’t necessarily heavy but I wasn’t what anyone would call thin. I exercised regularly and maintained an active lifestyle but also indulged in the typical college diet of beer, unlimited buffet-style food, and late-night snacks. Once engaged, I didn’t bother to crash diet or do anything crazy so I walked down the aisle at 155 pounds in a size 12 wedding dress. During that time of my life, I would have liked to lose 5 – 10 pounds but I was okay with my body and had accepted that I would never be a size 2 or 4.
Clay’s first deployment was 16 months. While I never set out to lose a specific number of pounds during that time, I had a general goal of becoming healthier overall. When Clay finally came home, I was 140 pounds, stronger, and for the first time ever, I was a size 6 and 100% comfortable wearing a bikini. I maintained my weight at 140 until I became pregnant.
Clay deployed again shortly after Weston was born. With my everyday diet and exercise, I stalled at 155 pounds when Weston was around 4 months old. So in order to lose those last 15 pounds, I counted calories, cut back on carbs, and upped my exercise routine. Clay came home and I was back to 140 pounds and had been maintaining it for quite some time. I was a size 6 or 8 depending on the brand and most important, I felt healthy. I stayed 140 until becoming pregnant with Violet.
And this is me now – 5’7” and 157 pounds and a size 10 or 12. I am not ashamed of my postpartum body but I would like to get back down to 140 because that is where I feel at my healthiest. Only time will tell if I will ever be able to fit into my size 6 jeans again (darn widening hips that can accompany pregnancy and birth) but that isn’t really important. Right now, I don’t feel healthy. Most days I end up crashing far too soon. My diet has too much sugar and I am forgetting to eat until I am absolutely ravenous and end up grabbing a handful of goldfish crackers before I head out the door. Because I exclusively breastfeed, it is important to make sure I consume enough calories but I don’t want to use that as an excuse to eat whatever I want. Which truth be told, I’ve been doing far too much lately (hello second bowl of ice cream!)
For those keeping track, this means that I have about 17 pounds to lose. I know it isn’t going to be easy. For the past couple of years, we’ve been eating a fairly natural diet – no high-fructose corn syrup, no margarine, limited processed foods, and all that jazz. But as I mentioned above, my weakness is sugar and I need to be more proactive when it comes to eating rather than waiting until I am so hungry that I could eat a horse (mmmm…IKEA meatballs…). I know that my body is capable of losing the 17 pounds. After all, I’ve done it twice before. So I suppose this is as good of time as any to start limiting my dessert intake and increasing the the foods that will give me the much-needed energy burst I crave.
In other words?