It’s not secret that I haven’t felt like I’m operating at my best since moving to Texas last summer – still functioning but certainly not at 100%. Maybe it’s the cedar fever. Maybe it’s because we left an amazing atmosphere at our previous duty station. Or maybe I’m not just meant to live below the 30th parallel north. Whatever the reason – I had felt like the Diet Coke of Karen soon after arriving to the Lone Star state. Perhaps was isn’t even the fault of Texas and I’d been unfairly placing blame on the second-most populated state in the union. After all, many people love it here. Maybe it was me the entire time. But you know what? I think I am finally starting to emerge from the fog. It’s lifting. Could I actually be beginning to bloom here?
To call what I went through depression is a disservice to those who have been diagnosed with the often-debilitating disease. Failure to bloom isn’t in the DSM-5 and to be honest, it feels a bit icky to be writing about it when so many people are truly suffering around the world. To complain about not feeling totally like myself at a place the government paid to move my family seems unnecessary. And I’m sure I’ve rolled my eyes many times over the years in regards to someone lamenting about their struggle to adapt to a new location. I probably sighed too because I tend to be a big sigh-er. Needless to say, I’m not exactly known for my empathy. But I’m working on it, though. I promise!
No make-up, hair not brushed, and one of my happiest moments so far this year.
Something has shifted over the past few weeks. I’m walking taller. I’m 10 pounds lighter (literally and figuratively). And I’m smiling more. I’m not going to lie – it feels freakin’ amazing. Admittedly, there are a handful of external forces that have contributed to my blooming that I’ll discuss at later time but I finally feel like Karen again. Hi guys! <waves enthusiastically> It’s been awhile.
Clay’s sister and her family are in town visiting us from the east coast for their Spring Break. We’ve been having a great time showing them around the San Antonio. It really is a cool city rich in history, culture, and food. Now that I am no longer the Diet Coke of Karen, I am appreciating San Antonio quite a bit more. And you know what? That’s pretty damn cool.